Breathe Again.

Over the last few days, I've had a little bit of what some might call an "epiphany", or what I call, a nice kick in the butt.  You see, about 4 days ago, a friend of mine here in Houston (who also has PCD and is listed at the same transplant center I am being evaluated at), got her miracle.  She let me know she got "the call", and about 12 (long) hours later, they finally wheeled her into the OR after all things point to a go.  Her surgery went great, and her recovery has been relatively smooth.  She's actually doing FANTASTIC after going through what she went through, and she continues to improve her numbers every day.  She's gaining her strength back, her new lungs are opening up, so her lung capacity continues to rise, and she's no longer attached to oxygen.  The road ahead is still a very challenging one, as it is for anyone going through transplant, but she is just beginning a new life, with new healthy lungs and I couldn't be more happy and excited to see her flourish and explore life breathing easy!!

Over the weekend, I was fortunate to be able to go visit her in the hospital and, WOW, to stand before someone and know that they just went through a life saving operation...to see how good she looked (despite how she probably really felt)...there really are no words.  That day, I also met her brother, who is a TWO TIME, double lung transplant survivor!  He will be celebrating 6 years with his lungs this year.  We were able to visit a little before I saw Barbie, and the value I take from experiences like that are just priceless.  As I reached the ICU to see my friend, I was also flagged down in the hall by a woman I didn't recognize.  She didn't speak much English, so she signaled to me that she knew someone in a room I had just passed, and apparently that person knew me.  I looked in to find a young gal who I had been in pulmonary rehab with a few months back ... and she too, had gotten her miracle!!  This gal is 24 years old and has Cystic Fibrosis.  I've wondered about her since I ended my Pulmonary Rehab, and then here she was.  In one day, in less then 1 hour, I witnessed 3 miracles, 3 double lung transplant recipients.   Seeing how well these three amazing people are doing, knowing they faced such battles and are doing okay, really hit home for me.  It made me think, "I too, can do this".  Am I still scared shitless??  That is a BIG yes.  The transplant journey is extremely fragile, tough, ever changing ... but it is remarkable, and can truly change your life for the better.  To be able to do things I once used to, or things that I've never been able to do b/c of my hindered breathing, WILL be amazing.

No one transplant experience is exactly the same, and I am realistic but optimistic about my outcome from the transplant.  I have been able to gain a greater sense of hope that I will not just survive transplant, but thrive after it.  I have a renewed sense of bravery instilled in me and a new sense of drive and purpose that had been somewhat dimmed by fear and by uncertainty.  I HAVE to stay strong and healthy for transplant.  I've seen how important it is to stay as active as possible many times over.  Barbie is a great example, as she was very diligent about doing her exercise every morning.  This only makes me want to continue to do my best at working out, eating right and staying strong.

I've finally scheduled my last test for transplant evaluation, a right heart catheterization, and soon after I will see the transplant team.  They recommended at my last appointment that it was time to "go active", and I think I am just about ready to take that giant step, that giant leap of faith that I too will be OK.  When and if my time comes to receive the gift of life, I can look to these amazing people, and know that I can learn from their experiences, lean on them in times of fear and uncertainty and count on them to help support myself and my family through the ups and downs of transplant life.

This all would not be possible however, without the real heroes, the donors and their families who make that unbelievable decision in a time of great sadness.  Thanks to their decision, they've saved countless lives, given people who have been deathly ill, a new life.  There aren't enough, or the right words to express how much this means to so many people and their loved ones.  One day, my life might be changed by a donor, and I will forever be indebted to that person ... one day, two lungs, a new life.  Until then, I try my best to stay strong, stay positive and live life to it's fullest.   Please keep my friend in your thoughts as she continues her path to recovery, she's a rockstar!!

Barbie and I, 3 days post double lung transplant