Update and Security

This will be a very short post, but I am happy to report that all is going great.  I am now just under 4 weeks post surgery and I feel pretty good.  I will be getting my final stitches out on Thursday and I met with a Physical/Massage therapist yesterday.  She was very helpful, as I have to "work" to keep my new girls looking and feeling like they should.  I am about 40% recovered according to her, however I feel a little more healed than that.  I am still restricted to not lifting, pulling or pushing anything more than 10 pounds so my "pipes" (as Bob calls them) seem awfully weak!

As the body heals, it naturally wants to form scar tissue over the areas that were traumatized.  This is usually a good thing, except for my cosmetic situations like mine.  So ... she gave me lots of tips about how to keep the new girls moving and preventing scar tissue...so they will feel and look normal. I also had to do some arm exercises which I haven't done in about a month.  Since they had to cut the pectoral muscle, stretch it and places an implant underneath it, you can imagine the tightness feeling I might have when raising my arms above my head or stretching my arms behind my back.  It's amazing how much you use those muscles!

Finally, I wanted to let anyone who is reading this that I am changing some security settings with the blog.  I will now require readers to "ask" to read the blog and therefore you will have to log in to see the posts. I enjoy sharing my story with others, in fact complete strangers, but I felt it was time to have a little more control over who is able to access this personal journey.  Please, if you aren't already ask to join this blog, or become a reader.  I think I might have to add you as a reader so I would just need your email address, if I don't have it already.

My email is rebeccahaskin@gmail.com.  If you'd like to continue hearing about this journey please email me and I will sign you up to get post updates!  Thanks and hope everyone is doing and feeling well :)

12 Days of Recovery

On the first day of recovery

my new doctors gave to me:

A chance to live life breast cancer free.

On the second day of recovery

I thought how could this be:

2 new boobs 

and a chance to live life breast cancer free.

On the third day of recovery

it started to become clear to me:

3 hours of surgery

2 new boobs

and a chance to live life breast cancer free.

On the fourth day of recovery

I left hospital grounds and thanked the amazing team

4 unforgettable doctors

3 hours of surgery

2 new boobs 

and a chance to live life breast cancer free.

On the fifth day of recovery

oh, the abundance of generosity

5 bags of popcorn

4 unforgettable doctors

3 hours of surgery

2 new boobs 

and a chance to live life breast cancer free.

On the sixth day of recovery

It was Dr. Fenner I went to see

6 lines down to three

5 bags of popcorn

4 unforgettable doctors

3 hours of surgery

2 new boobs

and a chance to live life breast cancer free.

On the seventh day of recovery

I can't believe a week ago today,

7 days feels so crazy

6 lines down to three

5 bags of popcorn

4 unforgettable doctors

3 hours of surgery

2 new boobs

and a chance to live life breast cancer free.

On the eighth day of recovery

I had a date with my hunny,

8 days going on eighty

7 days feels so crazy

6 lines down to three

5 bags of popcorn

4 unforgettable doctors

3 hours of surgery

2 new boobs

and a chance to live life breast cancer free.

On the ninth day of recovery

I went out for some shopping,

9 new fancy bras

8 days going on eighty

7 days feels so crazy

6 lines down to three

5 bags of popcorn

4 unforgettable doctors

3 hours of surgery

2 new boobs

and a chance to live life breast cancer free.

On the tenth day of recovery

I had a visit from Ralph and "mini"

10 hugs were shared

9 new fancy bras

8 days going on eighty

7 days feels so crazy

6 lines down to three

5 bags of popcorn

4 unforgettable doctors

3 hours of surgery

2 new boobs

and a chance to live life breast cancer free.

On the eleventh day of recovery

it was my hubby's big birthday

11 red velvet cupcakes

10 hugs were shared

9 new fancy bras

8 days going on eighty

7 days feels so crazy

6 lines down to three

5 bags of popcorn

4 unforgettable doctors

3 hours of surgery

2 new boobs

and a chance to live life breast cancer free.

On the twelfth day of recovery

I am just so very happy

12 days to healing

11 red velvet cupcakes

10 hugs were shared

9 new fancy bras

8 days going on eighty

7 days feels so crazy

6 lines down to three

5 bags of popcorn

4 unforgettable doctors

3 hours of surgery

2 new boobs

and a chance to live life breast cancer free.

I can't believe it's been only 12 days after surgery.  More of an "update" to come, but all is well and thank you all for the continued thoughts, prayers, gifts, cards, calls, texts ... it all means so much.

Happy Birthday to my hubby!

"Happy Birthday to my love,

you're always there come push or shove. 

I'll never forget the day we met,

that beautiful day at the Old Town Art Fest.

You've captured my heart in so many ways,

never did I think I'd be so lucky to say.

I have the best husband, partner and friend,

I'll always love you, forever to the end.

The feelings I have for you are so pure,

you are my everything, my everyday cure.

Some days when it's tough and I get down,

I look to you and there is no more reason to frown.

I love your witty sense of humor,

your gentle touch. 

You had me with the simple hand raise,

you made me flush.

Today is your special day and I must say,

Never did I imagine our life this way.

Thank you for all you do,

 I love you, I love you...I love you."

Happy Birthday to the most wonderful husband and friend a gal could ask for.  

6 days of Rockin' and Rollin'

I am happy to be "blogging" just 6 days after surgery!  Thank you to all of you for your sweet comments, cards, calls, texts, emails and gifts.  I have to say the past few months and in particular past 6 days have been unforgettable, scary, uplifting, challenging, rewarding and most of all relieving.

Bob fulfilling my wish to brush my teeth ASAP after surgery :)

Yesterday I received a call from my breast surgeon and she was elated to tell me that the biopsy from the breast tissues sent off, was completely normal!  This wasn't a huge worry of mine at the time, as I was more concerned and a little occupied with just trying to breathe well, manage the pain and enjoy time with my amazing family, but it was always a worry lurking until her call.

The first night and day after surgery were definitely the most challenging.  I experienced quite a bit of discomfort even with a PCA pump, a nerve block and IV pain medications.  After they got the pain under control, things have been on the upswing.  I am now able to take bigger, deeper breaths and cough with some force.  Yes, it's a bit uncomfortable, but nothing I can't handle. I am still restricted to not lifting, pulling or pushing anything more than 5 pounds so needless to say I feel a little helpless.

Upon coming to in the recovery room, I was comfortable and quite honestly "on a happy high" from surgery. Whatever, they gave me to open my lungs and make me comfortable was just the right cocktail.  I couldn't wait to see everyone and when they asked if I wanted them to bring Bob back, I just about screamed "YES"!  After shedding a few relieving tears, just holding each other was about the best thing of this entire experience. Waking up knowing that all those potential cancer ridden cells were now removed, and knowing I did this at the right time, for the right reason, with the right people and that I was going to be okay ... just made me smile.

I saw the anesthesiologist today and they removed my "ON-Q Pain pump" which delivered a localized and steady dose of anesthetizing medication to my chest area.  It felt good to get two more "lines" removed ... at one point I had about 13 lines coming from my body, I am now down to three!  I will continue with IV antibiotics for a few more days, and we see the plastic surgeon on Saturday.  I am hopeful that the drains will be removed Saturday and I will be back to feeling almost normal.  I of course will be taking it very easy the next few weeks.

This has been such an incredible journey and one that I am so fortunate to have the love and support of so many people.  I couldn't have done this without my ever supportive husband, parents, brother and sister in law, parents in law and all of our friends around the globe who have been praying for us and sending us good vibes.  I am definitely not "out of the woods" yet and still have a ways to go with recovery, but I am so incredibly happy to be present, cancer-free and feeling alive ... and as I (apparently) said in the operating room while under my happy high, "I'm ready to Rock-and-Roll"!!

Oh .... and just because of the nature of the surgery and the circumstance, I must inform you all that the new boobs, are simply fantastic :)

Rebecca's Surgery Update #3 and A Lullaby for My Beloved Rebecca

We're approaching 11 PM and Rebecca is finally allowing herself to rest. 

It has been an incredibly long day and a journey that's been months in the making.  As I sit here watching Rebecca drift off to sleep and reflect upon the steps that have led us up until this point, the only word that comes to mind is surreal. 

One can never prepare for something like this.  I am so proud of Rebecca.  She is the bravest person I know and her strength never ceases to amaze me.  As she fights each day with everything she's got, she never stops trying to put others before herself. 

We can all learn from her......focus on what's important.....don't just rise to meet a challenge, but smash it......handle even the most trying of situations with grace and dignity......treat each moment with those you care about with patience, care and respect......and in true Rebs form, never lose your sense of humility and humor.

As we all allow ourselves some rest, here's a lullaby for my beloved.

Be still my darling, be still.
It’s time to rest your weary mind and battle worn body.
Breathe my darling, breathe.
Corner your fighting spirit and allow it a respite.
Rest my darling, rest.
Quiet your mind and allow it to float freely of worry.
Sleep my darling, sleep.
Sink into a safe haven for I will be by your side.
Dream my darling, dream.
Find solace in the night’s quiet and I shall be there when you wake.
I love you.
Today, tomorrow and all the days to come.

Rebecca's Surgery Update #2 --- SUCCESS!

BREATHE AGAIN........ It is with unbounded happiness to announce that Rebecca's surgery is complete and was successful. We just met with the doctors and they couldn't be more pleased with how the surgery went. Rebecca is awake, breathing on her own and comfortable. Words cannot express the sense of relief we are all experiencing knowing she's doing ok. Rebecca will remain in the OR recovery area for a bit longer and then will be transferred to the ICU where she'll spend the next 24 - 48 hours being monitored. We're only hours away from being able to see her! We hope she'll be doing well enough to be discharged sometime Sunday or Monday so we can begin the steady road to recovery. There aren't enough thank you's for the team of doctors and the care they've provided not only for our Rebecca, but also for the family. UPDATE: I was just now able to visit with Rebecca briefly. She's alert and doing very well. In fact, she's got that sense of humor as the first thing she asked the doctors was "What size are they?". She's also aware enough to state that ".....I can't wait to brush my teeth". As I write this, she's being wheeled to her room at the ICU. More to come.... -- A much more relieved Team Rebs

Rebecca's Surgery Update #1

As many of you already know, today is the big day..... Rebecca was in good spirits this morning and was "ready-to-rock" (which has become the phrase of the day -- more to come on this below). There was a teary-eyed farwell to the our beloved Bella and Tarver, who showered mom with puppy kisses, before bedding down in their kennel. Shortly thereafter, we were off to the hospital. We arrived at the hospital this morning at 6:30 AM to get checked in and meet with the team of doctors for one final pre-op checkup. We are so fortunate to have a dream team of doctors and nurses, each of whom we cannot express enough thanks for the level of care and attentivenss they've provided. With the "all clear" from each doctor, we were ready to move forward with the nerve block. With the surgery only hours away and moments before wheeling Rebecca away, the last bout with the nerves and fear of the unexpected came to the forefront. It was a very tough and heart-wrenching few minutes, which seemed to freeze in-time. Thank you to Dr. McShane for the reassurances and encouraging words....I know just seeing you and hearing your thoughts made a world of difference to Rebecca and helped de-escalate her fears. With a few more hugs and kisses from her family, Rebecca and I were able to steal few final minutes together. We held each other and didn't need many words at this point, just a few final tears and then a promise to each other....."No more tears, it's time to be brave and strong.....and we'd see each other shortly on the other-side". The team then wheeled Rebecca away and we were notified shortly thereafter that the nerve block was succcessfully performed. Rebecca then went to the pre-op waiting area and enroute, Jeretta and I were able to see her one more time in the hallway. Rebecca said she wasn't in any pain and it was clear that the "happy juice" had been administered. I let her know she was looking hot in the hospital get-up and that I'd work on getting her some of those sexy long hospital socks to take home with us. With that, she was rolled away. Rebecca went into surgery a bit early, around 10:45 AM. The nurse called shortly after they started and let us know she was breathing well on her own and that she wasn't feeling any pain. Around noon, Dr. McShane came out to give us a second update. Rebecca was not feeling pain, but was having some sensation. She'd cycle between letting the doctors know she could feel this-or-that and saying "I'm ready to rock!". Clearly, whatever cocktail of meds she was given were doing the job. To ensure Rebecca's comfort and to minimize the time of the surgery, the team decided to go ahead and insert a partial breathing tube as well as put her deeper to sleep, just shy of full anesthesia. At this point, the surgery is going as good as can be expected and we hope to hear more soon. If all goes as planned and according to the current timetable, the surgery will be completed around 1:30 - 2 PM. I will send out another update once we hear that the surgery is completed and let everyone know Rebecca is doing well. Thanks to all for the messages and calls. Thanks to everyone for the positive thoughts, prayers and energy. I will do my very best to make sure to share all of the messages with Rebecca once she's up and aware......but not before we brush her teeth....she made me promise that I'd do that as soon as she's out of surgery and able. I'll be "ready to rock" that new electric toothbrush! -- Team Rebs

Twas the night before ...

"Twas the night before surgery, and all through my mind

Not a bad thought is brewing, not this time.

The doctors are ready to give their excellent care, 

Knowing that I will soon be theirs. 

My family is nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of Rebs with new "knockers"fill their head.

The morning will come before too long, 

This will all be over soon, and I'll sing a happy song."

Tomorrow is the big day, wish me luck and we'll update as we can with how things progress. Thank you to all for your support!!