In the past couple of weeks, I've also learned of three good friends who are all expecting, which is all very exciting and at the same time, this is all a bit ... well, let's just say...confusing.
I've come to terms with the fact that I will probably never experience the miraculous joy of bearing my own child. I've slowly dealt with the reality that instead of the baby coo's and diapers I will enjoy puppy licks and dog parks (which is always lots of fun)! I will say though that holding Dawson was by far (aside from seeing CC, Sharon and my Mom), my favorite part of the weekend. Watching him make all his silly faces and noises, was just so much fun. I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about the fact that I would never have my own 4 week old to hold, love and raise.
While my friends grow into maternity clothes, buy cute onesies and research baby names, I buy more and more medical devices, pay medical bills and research lung transplant centers. As they plan for college education funds, I stress about a lung transplant fund.
But something so special, and so meaningful also happened to me this past weekend ... I was asked to be Dawson's God-Mother. I held back tears, as I wholeheartedly accepted. CC and Sharon, I can't explain how much this means to me. It truly means more than you'll ever know.
While I may never have a child of my own, I will do my best to be the best god-mother to Dawson .... and the best "Auntie Rebs" to all of my nieces and nephews.
This is part of the "new normal" I live with. But this new normal is showing me ways in which life can be so good.
